Hate list

So I've decided I spend far to much time talking to this one particular person, when there are really more interesting, entertaining and pleasant people out there to talk to. But it has taken me a long time to realise this, and I don't know why. I'm not sure if I never noticed these things about my friend or if they never bothered me before; or if, as is usually the case, it was a little of both. Now I've decided to notice them though I can't stop them from getting in the way and its harder and harder to ignore them, which you really have to do to have a normal conversation. I'm sure it's partly my fault too, I guess I have to accept that fact, but does that mean I should look closer at the whole situation- at them and at myself, analysing everything with a critical eye- or just forget about them.

The easier option seems to be more attractive right now.

I have a nasty side I didn't know about until recently. But maybe I did. It isn't anything that really makes sense, and it definitely isn't anything that has any basis in logic. But when I decide not to like someone, as I have in this case, some part of me- almost primal- changes. Like a switch, my thoughts of that person go from green to red. Even normal, positive things about them become clouded by what's happened [to me] and my whole attitude towards them changes for the worse. All the things I've done with them or for them I now see in a different light, from a new perspective, and it all happens so quickly. I don't know if it was just in this case but it really was like a switch, and it was one I took a long time to find, so maybe the relief I feel having found it just made it seem really quick... I don't know.

I've decided to put hypocrites on my hate list today. Why can't you just decide who/what you want to be and stick to it? There called principles and most of them aren't that complicated. Sticking to them though seems to be a problem for a lot of people. Today I was passed by a police van doing well over the limit without sirens or lights, just a desire to drive faster than the rest of us for no other reason than that the chances of being pulled over if your a police car are pretty slim. This wouldn't have normally bothered me. I would have just been happy about not having a cop tailing me on my way home. But I was recently pulled over by a cop for doing what they themselves, apparently, have no qualms about. What they of course, can pull off without receiving a five hundred dollar fine, or losing their license. I suddenly felt like breaking the law. This decision of mine was also influenced by my dad, who choose to be late to meet me one day and then decided to lecture me on the importance of keeping your appointments. Don't you realise what your saying? Should I tell you to shut up?

The easier option seems to be more attractive right now.