Capacity

Someone told me today that woman are better at multitasking than men. That being female gives you a genetic advantage when it comes to trying to squeeze a bunch of things into your day. I asked them to explain why she thought this was the case and they assured me that they were right and I was wrong (them being female had nothing to do with it). So I asked her to demonstrate her gift by way of saying the alphabet backwards- which I assured her used to be a method in Australia and the US of establishing DUI before the advent of Breathalysers- and catching the balls which I would cast in her direction before throwing them back. She took her position about three feet in front of me, being on either sides of a table, and put out her hand which I assured her wouldn't have to do too much work. I didn't want to look like I was assaulting my friend or anything. It might draw some sympathy from the crowed or something (it was a pub). So off she went.

This might sound easy if you happen to be particularly good with English. Maybe you spent your years in preschool and kindergarten pouring over those alphabets they always stuck on the wall, or your a natural with languages and spoke three by the time you were in year three, or maybe you haven't thought past the first three letters "Z,Y,X", because after these this becomes one of the most difficult things someone could ask you to do. The police were obviously eager to get people off the road when they decided to use this as a means of determining whether or not someone was fit to drive. In the words of Bill Hicks "I'm not drunk but I'm obviously to stupid to be driving goddam it".

My friend had started, and they had started well. I was taken by surprise, they had said at least ten, and I hadn't expected them to be doing this well. Here was someone who was obviously more talented with letters then Bill and myself and on their way to proving their theory. Being completely unable to repeat the performance I would have no choice but to concede defeat and acknowledge the weaknesses of my own sex when it came time to multitask. Unless...

The balls had been going back and forth and she hadn't had any trouble. Returning and making changes to them she started to get a small smile on her face. She knew she was getting close. Her smile was growing. I decided to start moving them around. Once I had her going she couldn't argue I was avoiding her. She was already struggling from the last throw so it wasn't me, just her own momentum. As she came back from the last throw I was putting it in the direction she was moving. Then, as she came back from her third attempt to steady herself I put it in the place she had just come from, putting her off balance. She swore at me, reached out her other hand, while someone called out from a crowd near by that it wasn't "m" but "n". I hadn't actually been paying attention, being completely focused on what I was going to do if this test was too easy. Her eyes closed as she realized what had happened. "mmmm, good show" I said, reaching out my hand.

I was glad I managed to put her of balance, even if it did screw up our test. But I was also glad no one had mentioned the sex of the person from the crowd who had called out the mistake.